Driving in the Rain

The time just seems to be flying as it usually does during the days of summer, but this time its different. The anticipation of leaving the country and being immersed in a new culture and work that will exciting, undoubtedly challenging, and moving is difficult to manage. Another difficulty is realizing how little time I have been able to spend with my family. I love them and I miss them. I have been trying to be productive and enjoying each day with its numerous graces, but sometimes I get lost in attempting to figure out what is coming next. What will the next few months look like? What will I be doing in a year? Where will I be?

Oye!

And then someone or something brings me back to present and says "Take a deep breath. The Lord is with you. Be still. Smile."

Patrick and I have been preparing for a retreat we are helping with about navigating through the many transitions of life. As we were preparing for a talk we are giving together (a challenge all its own ( : ) the sky grew dark and in true midwest thunderstorm fashion, the sky dumped water. We were driving at the time and it was one of those rains where the water falls in what seems like solid sheets...like fifty buckets of water are being poured on your windsheild alone. The entire road before becomes blurred in the wet, except for the intermittent swipes of the windsheild wipers.

We realized in that moment that life, especially right now, is very much like driving in the pouring rain. We know what direction we are headed, but we can't see the road, except for those moments of intermittent clarity when God reveals just a bit of the plan. Moments of clarity to encourage us to continue to move forward and trust he knows the way. I believe that God works through all things and that everyday in large ways and moslty in small ways He has been present to me in moments of grace; in subtle reminders of His love.

Lead the way Lord.

Ask ... and you shall receive

It's true, blessings are everywhere. I hope that's obvious by the content of this blog - AMDG. With little money in my pocket, and even less set aside for our 6 months in the Philippines, God has begun to fulfill his promise: "Go, and I will take care of you." Whether it's the individuals who have hunted down affordable tickets, or the generous folks who have offered to buy them; whether it's women who offer their family treasures in Manila or men who rally supporters in D.C., whether it's my mom's prayer team in Cleveland or the desperate pleas of those in need in Mindanao- wherever, whatever, whomever- the support is enough to move a mountain. In a short time financial resources are beginning to accumulate, thus empowering our intellectual and spiritual gifts to be given freely. Thank you - to all who have given, and to those who will- thank you. May God bless you with abundance, that you might offer it all back to him!

fundraising....blah

Ah yes, I thought I might as well admit it: we have to do fundraising. No one is ever excited about fundraising (Ok, I actually know two people who get VERY excited about fundraising). But most people aren't excited about fundraising. It's horrible to constantly have people asking you for money, and all for good causes. Whether it's the guy on the street who may or may not buy boos with your dollar, or the corporate NGO that may or may not actually be building houses and delivering fresh water, no one really likes being asked for money. What I think has proven to be even more of a spiritual cross, however, is this: Yes, I hate bothering people for money because I know how I feel when people ask me for money...especially more money. But the real rub for me is in the humility and poverty of spirit it takes to actually ASK for it. My entire life I have needed nothing. That is to say, whether from my parents, my friends, or my job, God has always provided for me, and often in some means that I could claim pride in. There is a true humbling to realize that your entire livelihood is at the mercy of the generosity of others. We bask daily in God's generosity, and in this often lose site of the reality that it is God providing. We soak up the illusion that I've brought about this goodness by my own means, my own talents, my own abilities. The narcissism that allows for great pride in the accumulation of things, the ownership of the biggest or latest this or that. It is a place rather foreign to this middle-class American to go on his knees not just to God, but to his friends, to his co-workers, and even to strangers, to ask for the ability to eat from day to day. What is even more humbling, however, is the response. Even now, without much asking, people with hearts for the Lord have begun to invest their connections, their wealth, their homes, their own livelihood in me. Me? What am I but a tool for God. May their investments be returned 100-fold, and may this simple gratitude be pleasing to God, and be a blessing to them. There is nothing else we can do Lord- no method of repayment- so we turn and say thank you, and give our lives back to you.

In Every Tear a Drop of Life

Heather had a conversation today with a friend that went something like this: "So, any plans for the weekend?" "Well, this afternoon, Patrick and I are going to a graduation party for a student of his." "Oh, that sounds nice." "Yeah, and then we're going to a ballet recital for one his swimmers." "Oh, that sounds...busy." "Yup." Heather told me she stopped their because she thought her friend wouldn't really understand if she told her that after the recital we were off to a BBQ for "Paul's Chicks," an awesome group of women in the Tri-class I've worked with since January(that's Paul in the photo). In truth, that was our day. On the surface it looks like party hopping- and who can turn down two free meals with a professional quality ballet recital- but below the surface was a journey I have long known but never really successfully prepared for. Today was the beginning of some tender goodbyes. Friends from my old parish, swimmers from TOPS and my Tues/Thurs morning inspiration from Paul's Chicks. Some people I'm just not ready to let go of. It was beautiful to see so many parts of these last two years come together in one afternoon. In a way, I was like Scrooge in Christmas Carol, faced with blessings I have only partially appreciated. But I was glad for the chance- another chance to say thank you, to say I love you, and then to begin to say goodbye. Anyone who has known me for a short time knows that the everage goodbye with me lasts at least 20 minutes. I have done a lot of leaving in my life, and it teaches you to savor those last few moments. I suppose I'm grateful that I'll have a couple months for some. Those of you who will say goodbye, know that I will never be the same because of God's work in you. If I have touched your life, give Glory to God, for I know that you have touched mine.