Smelling the Sea Air

I'm not sure exactly why, but I have in my mind the image of sailors preparing their vessel for a long voyage. Adequate preparation takes a bit of time, and all those trips up and down the gang-plank stir in one's self the desire to face the open sea, to be already departed. No, we have no boat to ready, and we will only face the open sea from about 60,000 feet up, but in many ways, all the conversations about leaving serve as those trips across the gang-plank. The time for leaving is almost upon us. The anticipation itself is somewhat unnerving. I find myself procrastinating in my packing in denial that I am leaving, and at the same time, I'm wishing I was already there. What a strange and real yet intangible space- oh liminality, will you ever let us be? (probably not.) Life is one big transition, I suppose. A passing from innocence to bliss, with much adventure in between. Perhaps all of these little transitions will prepare us, give us some "perspective," on the big transition that we all must face. One of my swimmers asked me what the hardest part of leaving the team, or switching teams, is. I told him, "Without a doubt, it's the people." We live and move in relationships that must now undergo a change. A new distance must be inserted where there was before only a day's wait. Communication becomes sparse, if at all, and all of our hopes and dreams are left to trust - and to faith. I think there is something different for me this time, however. Every time a kind friend says to me, "You're leaving; we're going to miss you," I have to first face the fact that I will miss them; but then I have to face the more awesome reality that as I turn from them I turn to a blank canvas- to a world not yet encountered. To dreams I cannot even begin to dream because I cannot even fathom the colors with which I have to paint. I must become in that goodbye a pure canvas ready to say hello to whatever creation my Lord designs. He holds the brush, and I must be ready to receive whatever He paints. This is fearsome and wonderful all at once. And sometimes it is as if the waiting, the preparations, leave me anxious to know the designs he has- anxious to begin. "Time...ah time...is the final surrender." And in our presence, we hope to be attentive to the work of the Master.